Terrible Twos??

Mummy's post:

I would prefer to call it the "Understanding and bonding" stage rather than what's in the title cos it sounds really horrifying.
Anyway, the two-year-olds have long been saddled with a bad reputation. Alternately clingy, whiny, negative, fearful, and loud, their unpredictable behavior is epic, and it's often been written off as the "Terrible Twos." But just what does this dreaded stage mean?

Got this from some online "researching":
"The Terrible Twos are often characterized by oppositional behavior, mood changes, and temper tantrums. "No" becomes a favorite word. All are considered normal parts of child development, say the authors of "What to Expect: The Toddler Years." This is in part due to the fact that a toddler's ability to communicate hasn't caught up with his desire to communicate, hence his frustration and challenging behavior.
Like other childhood phases, the age range is fluid. The Terrible Twos can begin shortly after your child's first birthday or not until they are closer to age 3."

Reyes had been displaying the above behaviour for the last few days. She starts screaming, shouting, crying and throwing tantrums for even the slightest thing. I was pretty upset that my all-along-good-gal had turned into a terror overnight. I admit that I was guilty of yelling and losing my temper at her. With her teeth all out, I couldn't connect her behaviour to teething issues. I simply don't understand what went wrong till I surf the net for info on toddlers' behaviour ... then I realised she's actually going thru a harder patch than me now.

These are some useful tips which I found online. Wanna share with mummies who are going thru it now or perhaps in the future.

1. Assist with speech development. One of the big problems for these little guys and gals is they know what they want but they cannot express it. Make a big effort to give them words. Read children's books whenever possible and if your child has a speech delay, seek out help from your pediatrician. Every state has programs to help you with this at little or no cost. If you are having a particularly hard time, try cutting pictures of foods and toys out of magazines so that your little one can point to them to communicate with you. Here are several starter words that will help ease the frustration for your little one: "Up, down, help, more, drink, cracker, cookie."

2. Give her choices. Don't ask if she wants her breakfast. You know the answer to that one will be a resounding "no" even if she is hungry. Ask if she wants cereal or bananas. Give limited choices and be firm. Don't give in to inappropriate requests as this will create uncertainty for the child.

3. Let him dress himself. Again give controlled choices;blue or red shirt. They key is that he needs to feel he is in control and he should be (in a very small and safe way). You just don't want to go overboard and present him with ten pairs of shoes. Most grownups would have a hard time with that sort of decision making. Offer small controlled choices and help him feel like the big boy he is becoming.

4. Offer praise when you find her being "good." This may seem a tall order, but thank her for all those cuddles, and for trying to help you unload the dishwasher, even if she puts the Tupperware in the dog bowl. She wants to think of herself as a big girl who helps mommy and daddy and it is your job to make this true for her. Catch her being good and make a big show of praising her.

5. Stay out of the tantrum. Tantrums are normal and you should not get involved. Validate and walk away. Say, "I know you are upset because I wouldn't let you play with the glue. When you stop crying we will find something safe to play with." Then step over him and wait for the storm to pass. Do not get angry or involved in any way. This will prolong the tantrum. Just tell yourself that this is normal and try to see the humor in it.

6. Don't give in to public pressure. If your beloved is having a tantrum in the cookie aisle of the grocery store, you have two choices; gently take her to the car to settle down or simply wait for the storm to pass. If you choose the latter, you will inevitably have five elderly people asking your child what is wrong, but you'll never see them again anyway.

7. Do not spank a child who is having a tantrum. In addition to being just plain wrong, it is scary for the child to be out of control and she needs to know that you are in control. Stay calm. Tell her you love her, but that her behavior is not appropriate. Remember that you are parenting for the long term, not just for the moment. Don't do things in the heat of the moment that you will regret later.

8. As a stress reliever, keep a log of the worst tantrums. They will seem pretty hilarious later and you will find yourself embellishing how bad it was. Older kids get a certain glee out of hearing stories about how awful they were and it will help you stay mindful of the fact that this is just a stage.

9. Stick to routines. If you stick to your bedtime and mealtime routines, tantrums will be reduced. Your child will be less frustrated because he knows what is happening next and you will have more energy to deal with the terrible twos when they do strike.

Now that I applied some tips from the above, things had became better. It only takes a little bit more patience. She still loses her tantrum but it gets controlled faster.
- I let her choose what she wants to eat, wear, watch or play.
- I paid attention to her when she's upset about something instead of brushing it off as naughty behaviour.
- I get her to tell me or point to me what she wants when she refused to do the thing I want her to.


Let's just hope Reyden won't have to go thru this stage. (yes, not all toddlers will go thru it)
If not, I'll just have to hope that I will handle him better from my experience with Reyes.